![]() ![]() ![]() I laughed in my dream, but when I woke up, I ran to the bathroom mirror to make sure I had a scar instead of a hole. Once, I dreamed it bounced out of me and landed in the pool to swim with Sheila in a trail of curly red blood. Would it beat right for me or for the person it was meant for? Would it skip a beat at the sight of some strange woman? Would it break over a different past or a lost present? I kept imagining it jumping out of me like a frog from a frying pan, slapping on the kitchen floor with a splat, and beating on the tiles while squirting yellow plasma. An alien piece of meat had been lodged in me, and I didn’t know what it would do. When we got home from the hospital, Monica and I eventually made love again. ![]() In knowing myself, I had the confidence to bind and hit and hurt, because I’d know when to stop. ![]()
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